Caution: This post contains profanity used tastefully for emphasis and to capture the severity of emotion attached to the following sentiments.
Today I am sitting in a busy cafe, after a morning of meetings, and a billion returned phone calls. It’s a typical Monday morning where I have a sudden energetic boost to get things done and begin the week off right. But, all of this business is coupled with a heavy heart today. Today, I have lost 2 people who have meant a lot to me to heroin and addiction. Today, I miss them. Today, I feel the world’s sadness without their love and light. Today, I am pissed off. So, I wrote this.
What. the. Fuck. Why would you take such beautiful human beings from us here on earth? Are you so selfish that you feel you can claim all kinds of life in your talons? You are a hungry predator always looking for your pray. You are also a charmer. You are fun at first. Taking us out, showing us a good time, even creating fellowship between those of us who know you. After the fun is over, the consequences begin. You take people’s houses, their money, their legal rights, their relationships, and eventually their lives. Well, today, you have gone too far. Today, you took a piece of my heart so big that I feel a hole. A deep, dark sadness of dreams lost and potential never realized.
If I am feeling this much pain, I can’t imagine the depth of the grief of the parents, the lovers, the uncles, and grandparents, and aunts, and siblings. Not only do you hurt the people you have captured but, you also hurt everyone around them. Shame on you. I won’t stop fighting you. I won’t stop loving those you have taken from me. I will continue to pursue this battle with everything I have. I will meet those suffering in your talons with never-ending compassion.
In the meantime, you suck.
If you have lost someone to addiction, you know this feeling. This seething anger mixed with a heavy heart and sadness for the world. If you have lost someone or fear losing someone, we can fight together. Join me.
***Disclaimer: This blog post is solely the opinion of the author. It is not a substitute for mental health services nor does it constitute a professional relationship. If you are seeking mental health services, please contact a therapist in your area. If you are experiencing and emergency, please dial 911***